Lost Letters
by idris02
Summary: A compilation of Dear/est Fred letters from the two youngest Weasleys trying to deal with the aftermath of the war, their nightmares, struggling to understand a world without Fred in it, attempting to seek comfort through the letters that they can never send. Only a portion of the letters that Ron and Ginny would have written.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Letters from Ginny begin with Dearest Fred, and letters written by Ron start with Dear Fred.**

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_Don't worry I checked. This book doesn't answer me back, I got it from a Muggle book store, I even let Hermione check it, it's normal. The ink doesn't sink into the page, I'm not bearing my soul to a part of You-Know-Who._

_I know you would think this was ridiculous, I knew that you wouldn't do this but I need to, I need to pretend that you are still here, not here here, but here. Here to listen like you used to, here to give me crazy advice, here to curse anyone who would hurt me, here to mock me, here to beat me at chess or any game we play. We miss you, I know that we all miss you, and I know that none of us miss you as much as George does._

_George looked for you, he went back to Hogwarts and searched the castle for hours, he looked absolutely everywhere, he checked the corridors, the cupboards, the secret passages, everything. He didn't find you anyway, and I think part of him is glad he didn't find you, he's glad you moved on but we both know that part of him wishes you didn't, he isn't ready to live in a world without you in it, none of us are and I doubt that they will really change._

_I was going to write letters to you, letters that I would never send, but I thought this was a better idea, at least with a diary I have some illusion that I am not utterly insane. At least I can just write in this diary like most girls my age, who write about their feelings, their friends and their crushes, obviously this isnt about that. This is a desperate attempt to delude myself into thinking that I can still talk to you, you've been dead for two weeks, two weeks without you is two weeks too long._

_I will never get used to you not being here, not alive. I stand by your grave and except you to jump out from behind a tree laughing, saying this is some big huge joke, it's not I know, but I wish this was just another prank of yours, an evil one, but I will forgive you I promise._

_The others miss you, we all do. Mum is always crying, she cries at night, all night, and she cries all day. I think she doesn't think we notice, but it's impossible not to, and none of us can cheer her up because we can't even cheer ourselves up._

_Where are you Fred?_

_We need you and you aren't here._

_Tonks and Lupin are dead, and so are you._

_How is that fair Fred? Where the bloody hell are you now?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**

**AN: Please spend a few seconds writing a review to let me know what you think. Will be updating almost daily since each chapter is so short.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Letters from Ginny begin with Dearest Fred, and letters written by Ron start with Dear Fred.**

**XX**

_Dear Fred, _

_I don't know why I'm writing this, if you were alive you'd hex me if I even mentioned doing this, after you teased me mercilessly of course, but I don't know what else to do. _

_We all bloody miss you, we all do, George has scoured the halls and classrooms and broom cupboards of Hogwarts and he still can't find you. I know he hopes you moved on but I also know that he wishes you didn't, I guess we all do._

_You have been dead for two weeks, two bloody weeks Fred, it doesn't seem like it has only been two weeks without you, how can it be so? How can I accept that I won't ever see you again?_

_This is a stupid idea, I stole a piece of paper when Mum was in the shower, she writes to everyone now. I just, _

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**

**AN: Please spend a few seconds writing a review to let me know what you think. Will be updating every few days since each chapter is so short.**


	3. Chapter 3

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_I went to visit you again today. Some bitch at the graveyard told me that you were with God now, and that I should be thankful that you are in heaven. What the hell does she know? She doesn't even believe in magic, and yet she is sure you are in a better place?_

_I'm not thankful Fred, you should be here with us. You shouldn't be separated from George, surely heaven is all of us together, all of us, not just you, and us down here wishing we could be with you again._

_Trust me, I wanted to hex that woman but I didn't, I just nodded to her curtly and turned back to your grave seething. Hermione overheard my muttering, and sent a silent spell, letting the woman remember that she needed to head to the supermarket before she forgot to buy bread._

_Don't worry I didn't visit you alone, I barely ever do, it was just the two of us this time, Ron and Harry were out doing Merlin knows what, but at least they were happy when they came home, or perhaps they were faking cheerfulness like I often do, let's just say I saw smiles._

_Ron just bet Harry at their third consecutive game of wizard chess, which means it's time for exploding snap, they are calling me downstairs, I'll write later._

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**

**AN: Take a few seconds to write a review please.**

**And thank you Kacey and GinnyPotter6891 ****for your reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_This is bullshit. This is complete and utter bullshit._

_You shouldn't be dead, you shouldn't be. I shouldn't have to feel like this, I shouldn't be writing letters that I will never send, you should be alive, you should be here. I shouldn't be trying to remember everything about you, in an attempt not to forget anything, I shouldn't have to make myself so exhausted before I go to sleep that I don't have enough time to think before sleep takes me._

_Where are you Fred? Where are to change my teddy into a spider? To mock me about my feelings for Hermione, to taunt me, to support me?_

_Where are you to tell me how much I suck at Quidditch, or how shocked you are that I saved that goal? Where are you to give me advice when I need it? To love me in the way that only George and you can, in a way that means you prank me and mock me, but still care and protect me._

_You were always there when I needed you, so where are you now?_

_Do you remember when we went to that Wizard fair and I was only four years old and I saw that ugly bright red bunny rabbit, but Mum said it was too expensive, and we couldn't afford it? Do you remember how even though you mocked me about wanting it in the first place, at lunch when you 'went to the bathroom' you actually snuck back and stole it for me, Merlin knows how but you did it anyway. Do you remember how you left it on my bed for me to find when I went to my room at curfew, and how you made me promise that I wouldn't let Mum see it, or you would set my hair on fire? Do you remember how for two months I did whatever you told me to do because you threatened to take him from me?_

_Do you remember that asshole Jimmy Greenlack from primary school that stole my lunch every day for nine weeks, and beat me up every other day for three weeks until I couldn't make up any more convincing excuses for my black eyes and bruises, and George and you found out? Do you remember how you made me tell you everything? Do you remember how he bought me a bright orange bike as an apology and timidly greeted me good morning for the next two years before him and his family moved to Scotland? Do you remember how George and you had set a trashcan on fire and had told him that if he didn't leave me alone you would set fire to his house when he was asleep in bed? Do you remember how the two of you didn't tell me that until you got drunk in fifth year and gave me a slurred confession in the Gryffindor common room? Do you remember that?_

_You were there to help me then Fred, and countless other times. You and George need each other, and I need the both of you, we all do. So where are you now Fred?_

_Where are you when we all need you?_

_Why can't this be just another one of your stupid pranks, why do you have to be dead?_

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**

**AN: Take a few seconds to write a review please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_It's snowing outside, not the slushy snow that turns into mud minutes after it hits the ground but proper snow. Granted its freezing, but I want to go out there, I want to build a snowman and have a snowball fight, I want to lie on the snow beside you, and make an angel. I want to get yelled at by Mum for leaving small melting bits of snow in the house. I want to stand shivering in my soaking wet clothes as I bash on the bathroom door, demanding that you get your ass out of the shower before I die of hyperthermia as Hermione says._

_I miss you today, just as I do every day. I missed your witty banter with George at the breakfast table as we ate porridge and made plans for our day inside. I missed you transforming my scarf into a snake just as I was walking the door._

_It's snowing outside and you're not here. You're not here to enjoy the snow, you're not here to see your fingers turn blue when you take them out of your gloves and touch the snow like you always do. _

_I convinced the others to have a Muggle snowball fight, the boys are getting dressed for it now. It's so damn cold outside, but I don't care, I can't wait. I'll even miss not having to yell at you to stop hogging the shower, or using up the hot water._

_It's snowing, and you're missing it, you'll never be here to see it again. _

_I still can't wrap my head around that._

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**

**AN: Take a few seconds to write a review please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_I don't understand how to be happy in a world without you in it. I feel fleeting moments, fleeting moments of happiness and then it's gone, just like you. I wish I could be bloody happy but I can't, not yet, I miss you, we all miss you, no one more than George, but you know that._

_I can't sleep anymore Fred, my head is too busy, my head is too loud. If you were here you would tell me that I was just thinking, that I should just roll with it, but we both know that it's not the thoughts that are keeping me up at night, it's the subject of them._

_The others are getting nightmares, all of them except Harry, although the rest of them think that I don't get nightmares, not yet at least, I assume they will find out soon. I have to make sure that I am exhausted before I sleep, I spend hours reading down at the kitchen table, I can't lie in bed and wait for sleep to take me, because I need my mind distracted until the last possible moment._

_Why aren't you here to tease me? To turn my damn teddy into a spider?_

_Why aren't you here to comfort me? To comfort the others?_

_Why am I left with a dull ache, left with the feeling that we will never be whole again?_

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	7. Chapter 7

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_Why?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	8. Chapter 8

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_George needs somebody, I don't know who to get him. I have Hermione, Ginny has Harry. George has the four of us, and of course everyone else but he doesn't have someone like Ginny and I have someone. He doesn't have someone that he can kiss good morning, he doesn't have anyone that he can fall in love with, unless he has them locked up in his room with him but I am damn sure that he doesn't._

_I think I am going to call Angelina, see if I can get Ginny to set them up or something._

_Merlin, who would have thought it would come to this, that I would spend my time worrying about George's lack of relationship, that I could possibly have some great effect on his sex life, shudder._

_This should be your job! _

_Where are you to set him up with women?_

_If you were here I wouldn't need to set him up with anyone, because he wouldn't be so damn unhappy. So really this is all your bloody fault._

_Why aren't you alive Fred?_

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	9. Chapter 9

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_The others were yelling at each other today, yelling that we wouldn't be okay, yelling at each other, for each other, because we care so damn much. Where are you to crack a joke, where are you to make sure that George doesn't get lost within himself, where the bloody hell are you?_

_None of this is fair. None of this._

_I think George is getting nightmares, I asked him about it and he didn't deny it but it didn't affirm my beliefs. He is exhausted just like the rest of us, and I hear people moving around the house when I wake up from my nightmares, it is George?_

_Why won't he talk to me about it?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

_P.S. Ron is getting me to set George up with Angelina, who would have guessed it, Ron coming to me for help to help George get a girlfriend. Things really are different._

**XX**


	10. Chapter 10

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_I almost threw this away as soon as I wrote it, but I knew I would do this again, I'm not ready to let you go. Writing this in a letter makes it easier, it makes me feel like after I sign it I'll have to run around and find Pig to send it to you, and have to wait for your reply. It doesn't make any sense that you won't reply, they you can't reply. _

_I think George is going to ask me to help with the business side of things, he's been struggling since you left, not only with basically everything but with work as well. He needs to work, he uses it as a distraction, but I can see that it hurts him. You guys started it together, you did it all together and now you're gone he has to do it by himself. And he cant. Well of course he can continue working by himself, but he doesn't want to. I don't want to go back to school so I think I will say yes if he asks, I will never be able to fill your shoes at the company you know that, I know that. You are, no were, one of the best, and you will always remain that way._

_When did everything become so bloody hard? Every time I see anything in this house I remember you, I feel something rising up my throat and I can't breathe, I can almost see you, laughing or smirking, just being so alive. You can't not come back._

_I remember everything in painful detail, and day by day I forget your smiles and your jokes and I see your limp body with the smirk frozen on your lips before your whole expression changed. It's not fair that we_

_Ron._

**XX**


	11. Chapter 11

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_All I want to do is scream. Scream and cry. I want to break things, I want to throw things against the wall, scream until my voice turns hoarse, cry until I have nothing left inside me. I want to break things, let them break on the outside of me, let me feel that pain to distract me, because I cannot bear the pain that I feel inside anymore. _

_I cannot bear it. I cannot bear the thought that you will never come back, ever. _

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	12. Chapter 12

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_This is bullshit. Why aren't you here? Why did you have to die? Why did it have to be you? Haven't we lost enough, why did we have to lose you to? It doesn't make any sense, none of this does._

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	13. Chapter 13

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_Don't start, twice in one day I know, but I'm getting desperate. I don't know what to do. You remember what I wrote this morning, about George, well its getting worse. It's not just him, it's Ron and Harry too._

_Three nights ago Hermione woke up and went to the bathroom, when she came back she noticed Ron, his mouth was open, and his body was shaking as he gave off silent inaudible screams, she woke him and she didn't ask about the nightmare and he didn't tell her about it. She told him that she was just scared and wanted to talk that was why she woke him. The last two nights she has kept waking up to find him deep in a nightmare, and at lunch she finally told me. _

_I went up to talk to Ron about it but he left as soon as he saw me coming, what is happening to us all?_

_Ron is having nightmares, I found out just a few minutes ago that Harry is having nightmares too, and so is George. _

_What can I do Fred?_

_What can I do?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	14. Chapter 14

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_You would have loved it, Ginny spent about half an hour tearing Harry and I to shreds. She found out about our nightmares, let's just say she wasn't pleased. After she finished, Hermione joined in. To be honest I didn't really mind the yelling, especially when it finished with a four hour Quidditch match and Ginny and I won, narrowly sure, but still._

_At least we yell because we care._

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	15. Chapter 15

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_Harry isn't getting nightmares anymore._

_Also Hermione and Ron are getting gross with their level of pda, sure it still doesn't rival mine and Harry's, but still. You would proud of your little brother, the girl he loves knows he loves him and better yet, he knows that she loves him, they say it to each other a few times a day, I would puke if I didn't love the cuteness, just give me time though, I won't be able to put up with it much longer._

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	16. Chapter 16

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_Mums crying again, she thinks we don't hear her, she thinks that we are asleep, but we all hear her and there is nothing we can do to stop it. You-know-who basically came back from the dead, why can't you? _

_Ginny almost caught me writing to you, which is why I'm writing in the bathroom now. Apparently I'm not dealing with my grief properly, because I don't want to talk about it all the time, none of us bloody do, how the hell will talking help?_

_I'm not in denial, I know you're dead, I know you aren't coming back but that doesn't mean I accept it, that doesn't mean it doesn't physically hurt me to pass the clock in the kitchen. _

_Why did you have to die Fred? _

_Why did we have to lose you, Tonks and Remus and so many others? _

_ If I could trade for you three I would, I would do it in a heartbeat. George and you could keep each other company until you get old and die properly, from choking on a low-cholesterol muffin after beating George at something called Bingo. _

_How is it fair that Teddy doesn't have any parents?_

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	17. Chapter 17

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_A day is coming for me Fred, a day where I will have lived half my life without you in it, and then the gap will get bigger and bigger and I will forget more and more._

_How can I remember you? How can I preserve every memory? How can I remember our trip to Egypt where you tried to leave Percy in a pyramid, or how you made a snowman that attacked him on our skiing trip when I was almost 7._

_How can I have lived half my life without you? It is still years away now, but someday it won't be years away, it will be upon me. How is that ever going to be okay?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	18. Chapter 18

**XX**

_Dear Fred,_

_I can't be caught writing, so I'm in some tea shop not far from the Burrow. I think they think I'm somewhere in the house but they won't find me there of course, I doubt they'll even notice I'm gone._

_How can anyone expect us to be bloody okay, how can we be okay ever again? Ginny seems happy though, her and Harry finally have the peace they have both longed deserved, they are healing together, and she no longer cries out in her sleep. Mum still sobs herself to sleep, with Dad trying to calm her down, when he is home anyway. Percy is no longer a prick, and Charlie is coming back home tomorrow, I think he had to escape the crying, he is only staying for two nights at the Burrow._

_I miss you,  
Ron._

**XX**


	19. Chapter 19

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_Teddy is adorable, we went to visit him again, he is growing up so fast. People always say that but he really is, he is mischievous just like his mother, he is talking and walking and climbing things, and yesterday he changed his hair to be the same shade as mine._

_Mum is crying less, and Dad is home more often. I managed to convince Dad to take Mum for a holiday to visit Bill and Fleur who are in Paris at the moment, they are gone all weekend, which means... well which means the five of us get the house to ourselves._

_Don't worry I wouldn't do anything that you wouldn't do, which really isn't much is it?_

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	20. Chapter 20

**XX**

_Dear Fred._

_I think Ginny is writing to you too. I see her hunched over, leaning against a tree outside in the field from my window, we both know she isn't the type to write in a diary, not after what happened last time. I think she is writing too. Should I tell her I write to you, should I tell her that I hate living in a world without you in it?_

_I know you won't reply, I know you're never going to smile again, I know you won't pull another prank, I know you're never going to be here with me, where are you?_

_Mum and Dad are in Paris, and according to Bill who flooed here just after dinner, they are having a brilliant time and are staying an extra day. I reckon he came to check up on us, make sure we hadn't set fire to the house, but we how could we do anything that insane without you? _

_I miss you,  
_

_Ron._

**XX**


	21. Chapter 21

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_I'm busy so this has to be quick, my nightmares are gone and so are Ron's. _

_He caught me writing yesterday, but I don't think it was the first time, I have seen a shadow in the window sometimes when I look up from writing, I think he can see me writing from his room. He told me that he writes to you too. The others don't know about his writing either._

_We spoke for hours, and neither of us yelled. I think the others were worried since we were gone for most of the day, but we just told them that we went window shopping. _

_I think we might be smothering George a little bit as well, the five of us are spending so much time together lately, even if it's just us sitting in a room together reading, but the other night Harry taught us how to play poker, and of course I won. Luckily we weren't playing with money, but perhaps would might tonight._

_ I think we are all getting better Fred, I think we all are._

_I still miss you every day though Fred, we all do._

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


	22. Chapter 22

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_I hope that we ever you are you're happy. I hope you watch over us, and I hope you're with Remus, Tonks, James and Sirius now, I hope Dobby is there too._

_Be on the look out though Aunt Muriel may be joining you soon, part of me thought she was too stubborn to die but I think she might fade soon, you may not see her though, I'm not sure she'll be heading to the same place you went, goodluck if she is though._

_With love,  
_

_Ginny._

**XX**


	23. Chapter 23

**XX**

_Dearest Fred,_

_It doesn't hurt as much anymore. It has been just over a whole month without you._

_Trust me it still hurts, it hurts to think you won't be coming back ever, but it doesn't hurt as much to think of you, I can remember things about you without feeling as though the wind has been knocked out of me. _

_Muriel's dead, which means money for us all, she was a mean old bat, I don't think anyone will be grieving the loss of her, especially if they were in her will, we might be going on holiday soon, wonder where?_

_Ron is hard at work helping George, he is doing the paper work while George is at your flat basically just blowing things up, or 'experimenting' as the two of you like to call it. Harry is going to start his Auror training a few days after we leave for school, which is months away now, but the four of us are all reading. Ron reading for his work, Harry reading for his, and Hermione and I reading to catch up on school, I'm not repeating 6th year, I'm going straight to 7th with Hermione, which means I have to read and learn quite a bit, but I don't mind, Ron told me I was smart enough not to worry, and Harry obviously agreed._

_The two of them run every morning at 5am, talk about commitment, although I think it's just a way to distract them both from everything else, Ron works until he drops but he doesn't get nightmares anymore so at least it is effective._

_I better go, I have more work to do if I can be ready to play Quidditch in an hour._

_With love,  
Ginny._

**XX**


End file.
